Whatever prompted you to write such an "intimate" account of your life being born to two bisexual "bohemian" parents, warts and all?
Over 30 years ago a psychic, who was the "real deal", told me that I would publish a book. My response must have been lackluster because she stopped right then and there in the reading and emphasized: "I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I'm telling you that you write a book, because it is!" From that day forward, her prediction haunted me. Over the years, many people told me I "should write a book", and it created many a night of guilt, feeling that I was not fulfilling "my purpose". I didn't realize that all of my experiences, outside the fringes of society, were destined to be part of that tale. Each of us is living our own miraculous tale at every moment, and can embrace every second as having brought us to where we are right now.
I also wanted to provide inspiration for my human family of all colors, creeds, stations in life, and especially those who are gay and lesbian, transgender and "other". This includes addicts, alcoholics and the downtrodden, who have often been my closest friends in life.
You are a long-term survivor, with over 24 years living with HIV/AIDS. You claim to know how and when you were infected. Tell us about that moment.
Oh that. Yes, Well, I can trace my initial "sero-conversion" to 1983 because that's when I went through a 3 part Hepatitis B vaccination trial through the San Francisco City Clinic. I had gone in because of something else, and they were recruiting people for the study and promised free follow-up blood work and medical care. What I didn't know at the time was that the HIV virus was slipped in with the vaccine intentionally, in New York and San Francisco, as part of a global project to eliminate "the undesirables". This has been documented now, and can easily be verified. It's called genocide.
I was so naive! I didn't find out until some years later, when the Physician who was following everyone in the studies for decades, told me offhandedly that I had sero-converted at that time, since my first tube of blood was not infected, yet the second tube was. In other words, within a matter of one month, after receiving the first "vaccination", I became Positive. It didn't occur to me at all about the possibility of nefarious activities. It would be many years later, through a close buddy, that I would be told about this. Nonetheless, it went over my head, and seemed moot in any case. It was a "blonde moment".
Another decade or so would pass before I began reading the truth from a variety of spiritual leaders, including Dr. Len Horowitz, Drunvalo Melchezedik, and other "way showers" of note. A simple Google search now brings up all the pertinent information. I realize that many people are in major denial about our government being behind something so atrocious, but many of us know that our own government has been doing this stuff since before we were born. In fact, if you really want to curl your hair, watch Alex Jones' movie, Endgame, or read a book or two by David Icke or Jim Marrs. In spite of all my years of self-abuse, it's amazing that I've never had an opportunistic infection.
How did you feel?
At first, I was so angry! Eventually, I had to forgive everyone, when I realized that having a "death sentence" hanging over my head all those years had really helped me to "live in the now", in the moment, fully and spiritually. Had I not been infected, I doubt that I would have discovered or sought a spiritual path of awakening. So, I'm fully cognizant and out of denial, and I thank those who were the cause. Today, I believe that our soul is infinite and eternal, and that death and birth are Maya, or illusions.
We set up our lives from the "other side" for the maximum benefit to self and other, in accordance with many "higher Plans" which are all nested within each other. This is the economy of the Universe. Nothing is lost or wasted. Nothing. And, there are no accidents. None.
You share explicit details of your intimate relationships with men, including your first "true love". Weren't you concerned about limiting your readership?
Absolutely not! First, I don't really care about material things, I'm a spirit wrapped in flesh for experience, here to be of service to others. That was one major realization after having lived such a decadent and selfish life. Second, I don't really give a rat's ass about what "the mainstream media", which is largely controlled, or "society" thinks about me!
I've been ridiculed, hated and judged since childhood, as most humans are. It's time for everyone, and I'm starting with ME, to stop hating ourselves, embrace our sexuality, speak our own truths, and find the love and acceptance within. It's vital to our health and aliveness that we forgive our parents, peers and ourselves, for all that judgment which we've accepted "willy nilly". It's a burden that can be cast aside now. I discovered that I really do love myself, warts and all! That is essential for all to grow spiritually; the bottom line to life is: love yourself, BE yourself and follow your bliss! Suffering is unnecessary baggage.
You sound very optimistic. Are you one of those "light and love feel goodies?"
Hardly! I get very upset about many things going on in the world; for example, chemtrails! And, today in Iran, gay youth is hung by the neck in a noose, openly in public just for being gay. This is OUTRAGEOUS! Imagine going to the shopping mall, and finding two teenage boys hanging dead by the neck, for no apparent reason, other than being suspected for being gay. Love is love, and it matters little who loves who!
If we unite on anything at all, it seems this is a vital cause to bring into the open, into the light of day; that the Creator or "God", if you will, loves all of its creation, even the dark side, equally. There are no exceptions to this truth, because if it were otherwise, God would be judging Itself! That is simply not possible since God is literally "All That Is". We create judgment on this side of the veil, in our limited 3D awareness. This is changing exponentially, as people from all walks of life AWAKEN. We all awaken to the same truths; that all is One, and we are part of the same fabric of life. We cannot hate anyone else, or create PEACE using Violence and WAR, because we are hating and bombing our Selves. What we do to another we do to our Selves. There are no "others".
Avatars from the beginning of time have told us these simple truths, but we tend to ignore them, and remain in DENIAL about almost everything in order to justify our weaknesses. Part of the reason is that media today is controlled, and we don't really get the truth: that we are all Creators in Training, and our training wheels are about to be removed. However, I also realize that in order to change anything "out there" it all starts and ends within, with me. There really is nothing out there, but the mirror for us to see ourselves.
How clearly we view the mirror is a matter of choice. Some don't even know there IS a mirror. Also, everything happens for a reason, and I acknowledge that I am not capable of comprehending the really "big picture". That is a matter for God/Goddess/All That Is. Otherwise, all "answers" are already within us. We have but to listen.
Who are your Teachers or Gurus?
Our lives are our best Gurus; everything is right there under our noses, when we learn to listen to the "inner intuitive voice". Astrologically, we just entered the shift from masculine energies, which have ruled here for decades, to the feminine intuitive side. This will create many changes, and we see this reflected in our future leaders, though they are all cut from the same cloth. The two party system is a sham. It's a matter of who the "elite" choose to place (or remove) from power. Look at Kennedy and so on.
I chased after an esoteric school, a "Teacher", only to end up disillusioned when I discovered, after having left the school, that he had been seducing and blackmailing the male members (and their underage sons) into having sex with him. I never figured it out, though in retrospect it seems clear. He had everyone fooled, like most people in power who are hypocrites. Look at Larry Craig and others who are falling like flies in public restrooms and secret "trysts". This is a time of "revelations".
You write about your experience being a gay drug dealer to the "Party and Play" scene in the late 1990's to early 2000s. Why?
I want to be an inspiration for others, who might feel "stuck" or that there's no way out. There was a time when I literally had to shoot up several times a day. Speed is an epidemic that's out of control, "off the hook", and it destroys many lives, sometimes through death. I've seen it all up close and personal. I also think it's important to know what a clever "Seductress" Tina is. I'll share a brief moment about my own beginnings.
I was living in the Portrero Hill District, in a tiny 200 square foot apartment when I first discovered Tina, speed, methamphetamine. I was in my late 40's, and hadn't realized how much "fun" sex could be. I figured, after having lived with HIV for about 18 years, that I'd be dead soon, so I was going to die with a (expletive removed) grin on my face! I decided to burn the candle at both ends, and everyone else's end too. As I rose in the ranks of dealers, by being honest, and just having fun, it seemed that one thing just led to another. Before I knew it, I was "the man" - in more ways than one.
I don't regret one moment of it, including the horrible times, and I wanted to shed light into one of the most closely guarded secrets of our own gay closet: drugs and the "PNP" scene. I want to "demystify" and not glorify what a dealer's life is like. I'd always been curious myself; though as a middle class gay white boy, never thought in a zillion years I'd end up doing it!
How was it? As Divine says in the movie, Female Trouble, "it was a wild ride" which includes a lot of unusual experiences. Eventually, as I write in the book, I was warned by an angel that the party was coming to an end, which it did with my first arrest in 2001. It took five long years for all his "prophetic warnings" to come true, and I felt that there must be a reason I was going through so much hardship. While in jail, I had a "spiritual awakening", which was to be one of many. During that time, many things were revealed to me; one important message was that I was here to inspire others along the way. It wasn't necessary to actively pursue this path, but to simply be myself and Spirit would guide me. It has, and it does. I'm learning how to listen.
As long as we're consumed by desires, and sex is a powerful force, spirit cannot guide us effectively. Many nights without sleep, food and water contribute to a spiritual vacuum which sucks the life out of us faster than a Hoover or any trick could do. It also weakens the aura, and allows "entity attachments, on the psychic level.
You speak with an "urgency" and certainty about these things; why is that and where do you get your information?
For the last four years, while I was writing my book, I was also doing research on the spiritual movement, focusing on "New Age" ideas. When I began doing the radio show, I was "primed", so to speak. It was like being a traveler on the road, exploring new lands, and wondering what was around the next bend. I've always been curious to know truth. Of course, that became a new "addiction", but I figured that it was a positive addiction, and that it was "OK" to swap it for my negative ones that were taking me nowhere.
So, I began asking people who I admired, who seemed to have respect in the spiritual community, to be on my show. One guest was Carl Johan Calleman, who lives in England and who is a foremost scholar on Mayan civilization. He believes the end of their calendar occurs in 2011, not 2012, and there's a bit of a "debate", to put it nicely, in scholarly circles. I've also had many on the show who have spoken about life after death. The most notable are Dannion Brinkley, who was hit by lightning twice, went through the tunnel of light, and was given messages to bring back. It turned out many were prophetic, and have come true. He also had heightened psychic abilities, and could heal people and read them. Another was PMH Atwater, who wrote The Big Book Of Near Death Experiences.
I've had dozens of people on the show say the same basic thing: these are miraculous times. But the many will have great difficulty by clinging to the past. There will be nothing to cling to. And material wealth becomes obsolete. So, all that scrambling to have more possessions or better "lovers" than the next person, to feel secure about yourself, isn't going to cut it. That's all ego-driven and keeps us mired in illusion, in our own versions of Gay American Idol. We need to connect to our Authentic Selves and be truthful, have integrity, and begin loving all that is, starting with ourselves. You'd be startled to discover how many people hate themselves, or feel inadequate or bad. That's simply not true. We need to shine a light inside to see, and only we can light that candle.
The most startling was book was written by Helen Littrel, who has become a close friend. She wrote Raechel's Eyes. It's an autobiographical account, assisted with hypnotic regression, to discover that her daughter Marissa, who was almost blind, had a roommate who was an ET-earth hybrid. Raechel's "Dad" was an Air Force Colonel who had been allowed to adopt her, to see how she might integrate into our society. It's an amazing tale, and opened my eyes about many things that we usually "pooh pooh".
To get back to the Mayan Calendar: the reason why it's so important to "get the message out" that it's time for us to clean up our acts and align with our soul's purpose for being here, is because we're literally running out of time. This is 2008, and energetically we're in the 5th Night which lasts from November 19th, 2007 to November 2008. It's not "chance" that is also the year of political elections. This is an accelerated time for humanity, and is our darkest hour. Calleman predicts, as do many others, there will be a global financial collapse before the end of the year, and many other disturbing events will come to the fore. We can't deal with what's coming, what's really here now, if we're partying and playing. This is not "business as usual".
There are very few gay spokespersons who are sharing this information freely. It's a disservice, in a way, but I'm trying to get the word out. If you feel like you may be on the wrong track, or are not following your dreams, it's time to make changes. And for those who have difficulty "buying" the idea that there might be major changes on the horizon, that's fine; it's still wise to change in a positive direction because it allows us to live our dreams, in alignment with our soul's purpose for coming here.
From an early age you seem to have been on a spiritual quest. What have you discovered?
I joined an "esoteric school" in the mid-1970's, studying the ideas of G.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky. They were all about raising consciousness and being present. This was long before the "New Age" movement, which is rapidly becoming an "old age" movement! The Teacher of the school was worshiped by all, but when he gave me a "personal task" of not having sex with any of the male students, that brought up all my issues: Why should being attracted to my own sex, inhibit spiritual growth? Rather than figuring it out while in the school, I chose to leave and sink into an alcoholic depression, living the life of a perfect fag: two gay alcoholic roommates, copper pots, and a buffed Queen going to the gym every day. It was one of many "bumps in the night", or I should say moments of UNclarity, in which I had to hit my head against a brick wall.
What I've discovered is that as members of the gay family, as well as any who have been "rejected" by society, we have chosen our paths prior to incarnating, hardships and all, for the enormous spiritual benefit. Gay folks are far more balanced in the left male "logical" side of the brain, and the right feminine "intuitive" side. Once that connection is made, we close an internal circuit, which awakens us to higher intuitive awareness. I feel this is an advantage today, during these energetically shifting times. Most gays are actually more balanced, which could put us a nanosecond ahead of the pack.
You write about the coming Shift in Consciousness, and connect that to Mayan and other ancient prophecies. Tell us more.
We're in "the Shift" right NOW! There are numerous "cosmic cycles" coming to an end simultaneously, some that have lasted billions of years. It's like an enormous clock ticking to midnight, or like an odometer turning over to ZERO, and they all end at the same moment when the planets align and we tip into another dimension. This has happened many times over the 4.5 billion years our loving planet has hosted humanity and races from other worlds. How do you think mankind got here in the first place? The moment this happens is well known: December 21, 2012. Many people think it's the "end of the world", but the Mayans and others, such as Edgar Cayce, Nostradamus, the Sumerians, the Hopi Indians, the Hindu Vedas, Biblical "Revelations", and others alive today, all agree this is a significant turning point for humanity.
People refer to the Mayan calendar, which was not really one calendar, but numerous cosmic clocks, like wheels, each one with its own distinct time and "flavor". According to the Mayans, and I'll boil this down to the simplest terms, we are now at the end of a 13,000 year recurring cycle which is a time of the greatest darkness on the planet, or "disconnect from spirit", as well as the time of rejuvenation, or the Golden Age. The Hindus also believe in many "ages" of mankind. We are at the end of the age, when mankind has an unprecedented opportunity to be transformed. This is the result, as in other times such as Atlantis, Lemuria and Noah, of a shift from 3rd density or dimension into the 4th, 5th and higher.
It is a time of great CHAOS and rebirth. "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a BUMPY night!" Bette Davis.
To what do you attribute your longevity with HIV/AIDS, and do you take meds?
Good question! Well, the real answer is that I'm here because my time isn't "up" yet, and I have unfinished business. I firmly believe in a loving Creator, who does not judge or micromanage our lives. It may seem as if it is outside of us, but experience has demonstrated, and spiritual teachers all agree, that Spirit/God is within each of us, and we are "in it". It's a cosmic paradox. I think we have greater access to our own soul, or spirit, and the Higher Self which is the higher manifestation of the many souls which comprise "us", outside of time and space. We are really multidimensional beings of light.
As for meds, I flushed my AZT down the toilet in the 1980's, and didn't take any meds again until about three years ago. I attribute having listened to my own body, which told me I was dying from the AZT, and in a moment of clarity I thought, "If this is what life is like, I'd rather be dead." I didn't die, however, much to my surprise. In fact, I immediately began to feel MUCH better, and more alive. It would be another 20 years or so before I looked at taking meds again. I'm now on one of the HIV "cocktails", but it's definitely not as much fun as a martini!
When I kept on living, year after year after year - in spite of my debauchery, alcoholism, car accidents, overdoses and shooting up speed, I finally got the brick in the head: I'm here for a reason! I may not know the reason(s), but I know that's how it works here. I've also learned that many souls and higher beings have incarnated on earth at this time to assist with the transition or Shift, which we are in now. The Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow children are one example of higher beings choosing to assist "the older folks" with their wisdom and grace. Many reading this now are probably Indigo or Crystal kids.
Everything is a matter of choice, including how fast we awaken to our own inner truth. It's all perfectly timed to the nanosecond, and we cannot leave before our time, nor can we extend it beyond our own choices. We're born, and we die. What we do in between is our own doing; might as well do the very best we can.
Why do you think we're here?
Discovering our soul's purpose for being here is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Earth is a great, living and loving school for soul growth into love and compassion. It begins with taking responsibility for our lives, and not pretending to be victims, which is one of the acts we enjoy. It's our dirty little secret, and part of the denial of spirit, which keeps us playing small. In truth, we are great beings of light and love, eternal and infinite, and we are all One Family. That is the "bottom line" to all the prophecies which speak about the same moments in time. They are all one prophecy, many interpretations. Our beliefs color our lives, and they actually create the very fabric of life. Change the belief and everything "outside" shifts. It has to.
I believe that everyone who is here today on the planet, is here by choice. The reason we are so over populated is because many souls have and are incarnating to experience and assist with the dramatic shift in consciousness and dimension, the influx of Divine Energies, which may happen at any moment. And it will happen seemingly in the "twinkling of an eye". Some think that "one person will be standing, and another will disappear. I believe we are all part of a larger body of light beings, which will merge into a Higher Body, and be raised or lifted cosmically, to the highest level we can achieve. It all depends upon our own vibration. It's not whimsical, and each soul is unique and retains its own "flavor".
We are not our bodies, our senses, our "roles", our sexuality or anything else of the senses. We are spirit having a human experience. Everything we do is recorded Holographically in the Akashic Records, and we get to play it all back from 3 different perspectives when we cross over: our own, everyone we've hurt or helped, and an "omniscient" overview, all without judgment, just "what's so", as it really is. The feelings we've felt, and those of everyone else we've affected, we get to experience. So, literally nothing is concealed, and in that sense we get to see how we might have done "better".
Absolutely nothing is hidden or concealed. We live our lives as if we are all separate, hiding our own acts, thoughts and emotions. But nothing is concealed in the end. Once we wake up to this fact, it changes everything. We begin to live life from the perspective of our "legacy" of heart, love and compassion, knowing it will all be experienced by us on the "other side".
In your book, you talk about some of the guests on your radio show. How did that come about?
A little over two years ago, someone wrote me an email asking if I'd like to host my own radio show. It turned out to be Don Newsom, the owner of BBS Radio. I thought about it for a day, and decided it would be nuts not to give it a try, so I said "yes". My life has never been the same. It was definitely a turning point. For one thing, I was deeply involved with research into all the "new age" concepts floating around, quantum physics, prophecy and so on. I was fortunate in being able to get Jean-Claude Koven, who wrote a marvelous fictional book called Going Deeper, as my first real guest. From there, it seemed like one door after another magically opened.
Since, I've had some of the most famous spiritual "heavyweights" on my show, sharing their experiences. Let me tell you, it's "eye opening". There's a LOT more going on in this little old world than we permit ourselves to experience - or even know about. My show is about raising awareness and consciousness, and we all participate together: me, guest, and listener as one. I can actually "feel" the energies over the air; it's captured in the shows.
I'm not a big self-promoter, so I'm not going to open Pandora's Box. I'll just say that for those who are curious, my show is called A Fireside Chat With Zany Mystic, and it airs at www.bbsradio.com live and free each Saturday night at 7:00 p.m. pst. (California time).
What can we DO about all the corruption and evil in the world today?
First, each person has their own set of glasses on, their own interpretation of world events. When we go deeper inside, into our own inner landscape to discover truth, we find that the closer we are to our own soul's alignment, the more we understand at the deepest intuitive levels that everyone else does too. What we see is the outer manifestation of spiritual events. Everything happens at the level of Spirit first, like a template or archetype, as Jung elucidated. Those who are most closely aligned with their own spirit or soul, intuitively move through the layers or densities in which most people, who are not aware, get stuck. Everyone is at some "point" of the awakening process, and each one of us controls the pace at which we awaken. The same truths are going to be discovered, the more we rise up from our waking sleep; we move from fragmentation to Unity Consciousness.
When you factor in the concept of numerous incarnations, in which each soul is allowed to follow its own path due to "free will", a small percentage have chosen to reinforce their belief in lack by pursuing money (power) and accumulating "things". Things includes countries, people and governments. It's just a different scale. Where the "normal" person is reasonably content with one house and two cars, which is excessive given earth's resources and the millions who are starving, an elite few have managed to sequester away most of the world's assets. This has happened without the public's knowledge or awareness; quietly and intentionally. And this is as it "should be", because in addition to free will and creating our own reality, we have deeper subconscious aspects which are united as a "collective" which create our shared realities.
This is why we all see basically the same things, even though they are not the same. We have allowed things to progress to this point; the question is, once we wake up to what's happening, what will we choose?
So what should we DO about evil in the world; can we do anything constructive?
Yes. We can cultivate who we are as life-affirming, loving and compassionate souls, and begin wherever we can to care for one another. This may start with buying a loaf of bread and carton of milk, and handing it over to the homeless person in front of the store. Little things matter and they change the world. When we allow ourselves to become upset and angry about injustice, and there's plenty to be upset about today, it can be overwhelming, besides lowering our psychic vibration. To change means to focus on who WE are. Are we doing anything in our lives that could be considered hurtful or damaging to others? Is that who we really are? Most of us don't tell ourselves the truth, so we don't see our own shadow. Life becomes highly compartMENTALized, like a beehive.
It's a legitimate spiritual path to pursue "the Dark Side", as did the archetype Darth Vader in Star Wars. However, to achieve a higher station in what's called Service to Self, one must be 90% committed. As you move up, there is more "artificial trust" because a few MUST align on the same dark agendas. But they don't trust one another either, and would just as soon eliminate the others, so corrupt empires eventually fall. It takes enormous energy to conceal the truth, manipulate, lie and destroy. It's really about trying to replace God by BEING God. Some of the people who run the world today actually think they ARE Gods. We're all "gods-in-training", and our training wheels are about to be removed.
How does one progress spiritually?
When we focus on ourselves, on releasing what's not real inside; the phony, ego-driven pursuits and shallow desires, what begins to happen is that true happiness and direction begins to emerge. Shallow is fine; that's not meant to be a judgment. But it can only take us so far in terms of substantial happiness and wholeness. We all reach some point when it's just not "enough". Then, it's time for a change, and that requires a shift from being "outer directed" to inner sourcing. One begins to connect to the soul at the level of Spirit, and one's guides and "angels" continually attempt to communicate within.
To receive help from the "invisible realms" from which we come, we must ask, due to free will. We're allowed to make our mistakes, without divine intervention, and guides cannot step in "on their own". The exception to this is if we are in mortal danger. Many are "saved" miraculously by angelic beings. The more we affirm the POSITIVE within, the faster we ascend out of our self-imposed darkness. It's like being in a protective bubble. Things are going to unravel as they do, and we can throw ourselves into the meat grinder and end up hamburger, or we can be spiritually "smart" and be the cow that got away; McDonalds - or FREEDOM. The life of a cow these days is pretty bleak!
What we call "evil", as a personification of our own weaknesses, is the result of our choices. By continuing to make the same "wrong" choice, a groove is created similar to that on a plastic record. Boy does THAT date me! As you move up the "Doctor Evil Ladder", you can see it's the result of increasing selfishness and ego/vanity. One must continue to make choices that remove property, health and life from others, in order to upset the natural balance to acquire it for oneself. This requires enormous justifications which are often instilled in secret fraternities and orders, which allow the members to feel increasingly "special".
Further up, blackmail is the norm, and one must "do" things that are repugnant; such as murder, or destroying something; perhaps starting a war. As conscience erodes, one is rewarded for having done such great things (against humanity and earth), and one is placed in higher positions of power. Heady stuff. It's a chess game of power, really, and a few people think that the rest of the population is "expendable". In fact, there are numerous plans to eliminate 90% of the world's population due to contempt for their fellow man. That's another story!
One factor which is important to introduce is that ONE PERSON can, and DOES, CHANGE THE WORLD. By being our Authentic Selves, we literally alter and remove thousands of negative acts in the world, transforming darkness into light. This is the nature of being on the "Light" side. It only takes one candle to illuminate the darkness, but the darkness can never "extinguish" the Light. It is afraid of being exposed; this is why all "evil deeds" occur in secrecy or the cover of darkness or night. We have more "secret societies", secret alphabet soup agencies, and more secrecy in the military and government than has EVER happened in the history of mankind. This is a symptom of illness.
It's a cancer that eats at the body of society. What started out as something positive, to "protect us", has turned into its own opposite and now has a life; many lives, of its own. There are agencies within agencies that don't know the others exist; it goes so deep that even the top military are not included unless there's a "need to know". The corporate interests run the world today, and have for decades. Don't be fooled. Follow the money.
It seems that the New Age movement is largely focused on creating "abundance". Films like The Secret encourage people to get more stuff. Comments?
Everything serves a purpose. There is no one right "answer" or formula that applies equally to all people. The Secret is just one small aspect of many hidden or esoteric truths, which is being presented as "the end all". Many people have never been inclined towards anything "spiritual" in their lives, and this movie opens a door, through the desire to "create abundance". Abundance is our natural state. In the Bible, there's a parable about feeding the birds and the flowers, and how they are taken care of. We have forgotten our invisible connection to the real Source of life, and have cut ourselves off from living, breathing things.
We've pretty much convinced ourselves that we're the only intelligent life form on the planet, and everything else is here for our abuse, including each other. Don't get me started on child abuse, rape and incest! Grocery stores package meat in beautiful, sterile antiseptic plastics, and we've forgotten that ALL life is sacred, and has spirit. In that way, we've really disconnected from our own spirit. Spirituality is simply being connected to your own spirit, and living authentically from the center, or Heart; not mind. Our Indian ancestors know this, and have prophesied this fork in the road for humanity. We're going over the cliff, but will we fly or self-destruct?
We've literally boxed ourselves into a corner, and are at THE crossroads now. Even for those who don't believe a thing about life after death, or anything metaphysical, the fact is that we are at a point where humanity is about to become extinct. We have been throwing bones over our shoulders, like mighty Kings, and now the pile is about to bury us alive. I'm amazed that Earth, or Gaia, who is a living entity in her own right, has not rebelled sooner. She is in the process of shifting upwards to a higher evolutionary density; from 3rd density to 4th or higher. This is partially what the Mayan, Biblical, Cayce, and other Prophecies are about. That is why December 12, 2012 is considered significant: it's the literal crossing point into higher dimensions for the entire Universe. This unprecedented event has not been highly "successful" during past Harvests, or Shifts. But we have been given special assistance from many higher sources, to improve the number of people who make it.
In any case, earth can no longer sustain us, and is dying. Look at the "dead spots" in the oceans, bees disappearing, animals becoming extinct, rivers and water becoming polluted, food scarcities, and more pollution each day. We are racing towards a brick wall. How we hit it is the only choice at this point; consciously and with awareness, or SMACK like a bug on a windshield.
Here is the ULTIMATE Secret: The more you give of yourself without expectations, the more returns or "comes back" unexpectedly. This is how the Universe works. It is designed to be benevolent, empowering and loving. Just look at your four legged friends, and how all animals love us unconditionally, like to play and have fun together. Nature demonstrates great truths, and this is how we get along best. I'm not suggesting that we grow tails and wag, but we could learn a lot by being silent, loving each other, and having fun together. My dog loves everyone. If an axe murderer showed up at the door, she'd be jumping all over him (or her), wagging her tail and loving. That is unconditional love. It's also a model for us to follow. If we loved ourselves half as much as we do our furry friends, we'd be different people. I had a wealthy eccentric Aunt who used to ADORE her dogs so much, that they were fed at her table in chairs, yet she had contempt for people, and not much self-love. It doesn't have to be that way.
Also, what we focus on we become. So, what is important to you? The way to figure this out easily is by asking yourself what excites you the most? And I'm not talking about sex here! What is your real PASSION in life? What turns you on, blows up your skirt, more than anything else? Most people talk themselves into NOT following their dreams, because "there's no time". By the time an 8 hour job is done, laundry, eating and sleep, there's so little time to recharge.
We can put ourselves back in the driver's seat when we realize that we can do anything we want, even quit our jobs, and we'll be fine. There's always a way to follow your bliss, and work on it; even if it's just an hour a day. The real secret of success is in shifting your goals from the generic "to make a good living", to doing what makes you HAPPY. When we do what brings us happiness, the money is no longer important. Plus, we do things WELL that we love doing, and eventually, we get compensated in the "currency du jour". As for the power of "Creation", try creating happiness with what you have now. Buddha was right when he said that desire is the beginning of man's suffering. Eliminate desire and there is nothing left but freedom.
Why do you think so many people turn to alcohol, drugs and prescriptions?
Everyone is sensing the energetic changes. We all feel that something is going on, but we can't put our finger on it. When faced with some of the bleak prospects today, it seems reasonable to want to have FUN, rather than work your ass off in a corporate job only to be kept in place for decades, then fired because your "gay" or incompetent. The world is going to Hell in a hand basket! Where I see the problem with drugs, especially speed, they're being used as a replacement for living. It starts out being "fun", then turns into a self-destructive subculture and you don't realize it's happening.
This is the big danger with Tina; denial. I thought I was just "fine", even though my using had increased to several injections per day. Everyone ELSE was f*cked up, not me! And to some extent, that's true. But what I didn't see, being a tree in the forest, was that my own spirit was dying. I was locked into the first two lowest chakras: the 1st and 2nd, which have to do with survival and sex. We have 12 chakras available, so being stuck on two is really being "stuck on stupid". If you're not aware of the Hindu chakra system, that's an interesting area to research. The good news is that we have it within our power to change course instantly. For me, it took many bricks on my head for me to "get it". But it doesn't have to be that way. We can also learn from the experiences of others; that's called wisdom.
What do you think of the gay culture or subculture today?
To be truthful, I don't really know much about it. I've always "danced" in the subculture with glee. Bath houses in the 60's, Disco and Sylvester in the 70's, clubs in the 80's, and drug abuse in the 90's. After several "spiritual awakenings", I've chosen to live in my own little world for some years now. Unless you're young and in a big city, being gay is just not a "happening thing". In marketing my book, I've been reading some of the gay media, and it seems for the most part to be pretty much like the rest of life: superficial. In other words, it's about gorgeous bodies, movie stars, and fashion; all titillation for the senses. I wouldn't be surprised to see Gay American Idol soon on television, but you heard it here first, folks, so I want some royalties!
Seriously, I'm not criticizing the lack of obvious spirituality in today's media, since it is largely corporate owned and run. They do what SELLS. It's all about money and revenue: the bottom line. And, it's a double edged sword; they also create a narrow beam or focus for us to experience. But we're spirit having a human experience, and spirit doesn't give a HOOT about money! It wants to have fun, to experience all that life has to offer, and to be FREE above all.
Unfortunately, on this planet of the galaxy, it takes more and more money to have the illusion of freedom. What we consider freedom is really a sandbox. We only move into slightly bigger sand boxes, and convince ourselves that we're happy. The drama experienced with relationships and life says otherwise. This is why traditional religion is crumbling. There is little substance to it, and what has been adopted as "truths" from God is really just man's judgment hiding behind a book or a pulpit. Without the solidity of knowing our own spirit, and having some grounding in Reality, everything around us is destined to disappoint, sooner or later.
I continue to hear that many prominent "preachers" or priests claim that homosexuality is a sin to God. Poppycock! This is, of course, a lie perpetuated by those who are terrified of their own sexuality. As we all know, those who protest the loudest are often the WORST offenders "in secret". So, there's a lot of hypocrisy, and I can understand why religion doesn't serve us any more: it's all form and no Substance. This is why I prefer to "pick and choose very carefully", as Mrs. Dasher might say, the aspects of various teachings that resonate for me.
This might include Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Christ's teachings, as well as the teachings of many Avatars and sages throughout the ages. When you begin to look into matters of spirit, it opens up fascinating new worlds to explore. We're really beginning to catch a spiritual wave, a literal tidal wave, and those who can ride it to shore will be whooping and hollering in ecstasy. Spirituality offers a cornucopia, a literal smorgasbord of fantastic waters to dip our feet into, and we can take a little from here, a little from there, and create our OWN reality; we are doing that anyway, why not tailor it to our own preferences and to HELL with consensus reality!
There are many great spiritual teachers alive today, but do we ever hear about them in the mainstream media? As the energies shift from materialism to spirit getting closer to 2012, we'll see the nature of life shift before our eyes. There will be much more heart, compassion and love for one another, and it all starts with one person: you/me. We are ultimately all One.
With over 24 years, living with HIV/AIDS, do you do anything "special" in terms of diet, prayer or meditation to increase your longevity?
Nope. I drink too much coffee, eat red meat, and don't meditate! I'm too impatient to meditate, and prayer always seems so "weird". I think when we pray, we're really praying to our Selves, or our Higher Selves, though I do believe in an unfathomable God/Goddess/All That Is. Life, if lived rightly, IS a living prayer, a living meditation. There's no need to do anything "special", when you're already doing it right. What does the awakened Zen Master do upon gaining enlightenment? Chop wood. Carry water. Everything changes and everything stays the same. It's a shift in perspective, but it does require some effort on our part. It's not handed to us on a gold platter, which I think is one reason why so many choose the "easy way". Yet, there is no escaping the basic lessons that every soul must learn; we're only postponing the inevitable by avoiding or denying the truth. Why not make it really easier, and start being honest with ourselves?
I DO listen to my intuition, and advise learning how to differentiate between the many "inner voices". For example, imagine being at a horror movie, and the girl is about to put her hand on the closet door and open it, and WE know the horrors that wait behind that door. Every person says to him or herself, "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!" Well, our own intuition is very similar. There may be a thought to do something simple, and our "gut feeling" informs us, usually without words, not to. We do it anyway, and end up dropping a glass which shatters on the floor. It's like that. We "knew it" would happen. I listen to the message and follow it, even if I don't know that I WOULD have dropped a glass. We don't know what might have happened had we NOT listened, and we ALWAYS know what happens when we don't, just like the girl opening the closet door.
It's that big "AHA" inside that says, "I told you so!" So, by realizing in advance that this is an "I knew that would happen" moment, we can avoid making so many silly mistakes, which creates certainty. Every once in a while, we have to make a mistake, to get us back on track, and to validate that when we don't listen to our intuition, there are always consequences.
Over time, this builds up our "psychic muscles". We become invisibly buffed! I'll take that over ripped abs any day. Well, maybe 6 days out of the week. What we focus on, we become. I'd like to share one more valuable tool in the spiritual chest, before we end. And that is to keep your word, no matter what. Our word is our power. Actually, it begins prior to our thoughts, but for practical purposes, when we say we'll do something and don't, that is a loss of our integrity. Integrity is like money in the spiritual bank.
Some people keep drawing their money out, then live on credit. Sooner or later, it catches up with you. By telling the truth, we save enormous energy, and when we keep our word, it builds a kind of personal power which grows, because we KNOW that we'll do what we say, or will make other arrangements. Our word can literally move mountains. That is an invaluable tool for living a happy life. If I had to sum up all the advice I have, it would be this: Love yourself, BE yourself, and follow your BLISS. Period. Don't worry about what others think about you, because others are even more worried about what YOU think about THEM!
Where do you get your information? What are your sources?
Many years ago, I joined a cult, an esoteric school, studying the ideas of G.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky, two of the greatest men of their day. In San Francisco, I did Werner Erhard's EST Training, his Six Day, and the gay version, the Advocate Experience. All of them were transformational. Today, I'm an internet junkie. About 3 years ago, I discovered some great Yahoo groups, and by participating learned a lot, and many doors opened. For over two years I've hosted my own "New Age" radio show at BBS Radio. To prepare for the interviews, which are all people I admire and want to speak to, I read as many of their books as possible. So, I get exposed to a LOT of interesting and "out of the box" ideas this way.
Last, I listen to internet radio, such as Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, Whitley Strieber's Unknown Country, and others that are fringe or "underground". The truth is out there, but you have to dig for it. The mainstream media is controlled, and we only get what our "controllers" want us to. Besides, the internet can be like a Ouija board, without the dire consequences. When you open a window, it's not necessarily to a dark, parallel universe. I won't touch a Ouija board because I do believe that some things are best left alone. That's one of them. As Dame Edna might say, Spooky, Possums!
L.B White is a long-term survivor of AIDS, with over 24 years, against all odds. He is retired and lives in Placerville with his Jack Russell Terrier. He writes and does a weekly New Age radio show, A Fireside Chat With Zany Mystic at www.bbsradio.com. His new book, Tales of a Zany Mystic, is available at www.amazon.com